I’ve had to close the doors completely since March. We didn’t get to have our recital, we didn’t get to compete except in one outdoor competition but that wasn’t a full team. I haven’t been able to plan or schedule anything and I haven’t had any sort of income since March. We can’t open because we are lumped in with gyms and they aren’t allowed to be open yet. 

I understand it; I have 3 year olds in my class. Just try to get a 3 year old to wear a mask; it’s impossible. The competitive students are there three times a week, some of them are there until 9:00 at night. It’s hard enough to do leaps and turns without a mask on. They are sweating their butts off. We have lifts and partnering in our dances, so if one kid comes in with a cold then they all get it. In January, I actually had to cancel a few classes because I had so many students that were sick. Every year we have some illness that goes through the studio. We try to clean as much as we can to keep everyone as healthy but it’s the same as the schools, the kids sit next to each other and sneeze on each other. 

I’ve been getting lots and lots of emails and phone calls asking when are we opening? I’ve got some pretty awesome families at the studio; they want to take classes and we’re a small community that really helps each other out as much as possible. We tried Zoom classes and pre-recorded classes and put them on YouTube for the students to watch on their own time, but we still can’t open up until the governor says we can. 

I own the building that the studio is in so we did get an SBA loan to make the building payments. The bank let us defer payments for two months but they tacked them on to the end of the loan. My husband and I talked and if we have to push the opening beyond December, we won’t be able to open back up. I can’t afford the monthly mortgage payment without having another job. It would be an empty building just sitting there, money flying out the window. We’ve got another three months before we’ll have to sell the building. 

This has affected me greatly. I already have issues with depression and anxiety, which I talk about very openly with the students. Perfectionists are often the best dancers, so mental health is something we talk about a lot. It was very hard when I finally realized we weren’t having our recital or our competitions and there was a chance that the studio would not open again. I feel like I have no control over my life. I started running and watching what I eat. I’ve lost 20 pounds since this whole thing started because I’m so stressed out. I got really crafty. My sewing machine is now permanently on my dining room table. I’ve made so many masks and T-shirts. I just give them away because I’m doing it to keep my mind occupied so that I’m not just sitting on the couch stewing. The thing is I’m not a grocery store, I’m not a retail store, I’m just a small dance studio. We are one of the few things that still isn’t allowed to open yet. No one is paying attention; it’s just something that people don’t think about.